Today I fell in LOVE

I found this post I ment to share from our last trip but I forgot to publish it:

Fred hasn't completely been on bored with this adoption, I mean he agreed to it but he has been very skeptical. He didn't want me to get too attached to the idea of all three, I think he was secretly hoping something would change my mind. As it got closer to us actually coming here I believe he warmed up to the idea but I didn't think he loved them like I did. I mean how could he... I looked at their pictures and videos EVERYDAY, I set up their rooms, I talked to their empty beds and imagined them there, I struggled over the perfect name for these little warriors. He never even asked about them, when I wanted to share updates he only half listened, so how could he love them like I did?

Today was our second visit and the most amazing thing happened, I fell in love with my husband all over again! He was smooshed on this tiny set of bunk beds and trying his very best to enjoy this uncomfortable visit with our boys. He was singing to them and cuddling them and then he said something that took my breath away, he kissed each boy on the head and said "Daddy loves you guys and no matter what we are going to get you out of here!" I bout melted right there, he said it very quiet so I know it was not for my benefit but that it was truly heart felt and I just fell!!!! He did care, he did love them, maybe he does want them as much as I do!!!

Later I asked him why if he loves them didn't he ever want to talk about them or care when I gave him up dates, with tears in his eyes he said "It killed me to think of them over here all alone"!

Guys really do handle things different than us and even though I hate it and don't understand it Im sure God has it that way for a reason!!!