We have had the kids in our care for about 72 hours and as I said in my last post they are changing before our eyes! We have defiantly seen behaviors that have come from spending almost 7 years in an institution. The biggest and post prevalent is feeding behaviors. There are many reasons why they act out at feeding time. We were told a few different stories of how feeding time goes, I am not sure which way my children were fed but you can tell that when they see food they now what it is and they want it. They will eat eat eat and when you think they are full they will still scream for fear of not knowing when food will come again? From having it shoveled in and not given time for them to actually swallow it so more of it ends up I the caregivers hand then in their tummy? From having to share one bowl with 2 or more other children? Take your pick, all I know is that now it is my job to show these kids that food will come every day 3meals and at least 2 snacks of their very own! Sounds easy right.... Luckily I have been down this road with Rorie and I expected it even so I have to remind myself that they are ok, they are full and that if I give in they will not learn and I will be having to feed them every 10 mins to stop a crying monster I have created.
Attention.... I have to remember that these kids got very little attention for the last almost 7 years so they have to get use to all my kisses and hugs and cuddles. (crazy to think that a little kid has to get used to something that seems it should come so naturally for typical kids) Silas has gotten a taste of attention and now he craves it, prolly for the same reasons as food, it will take time for him to see that beside Me and Fred there are so many people that want to give him attention.
Other things I have to remember... There is a language barrier, I am not sure what they are capable of because I don't know what kind of effort was put behind them (likely very very little if any) things a 7year old should know they do not know those are all things that we will learn together.
This is scary for them, it's all new. The last time they were prolly in a car was when they were transferred from the baby house to the institution. We have taken them from the only home they have ever known, took them on 2 very long car rides, a horribly HOT train ride and we have been cruzing around the BIG city the last few days. They are with people that on all accounts are new to them and DO NOT speak the language they are use to hearing that can be a scary thing.
Taking all this into account really helps me to be patient and understanding. I think the hardest thing for me to handle, that just breaks my heart into a million little pieces (even more than how under nourished they are, Bridget is nothing but a skeleton and Jasper isn't much better. Silas has a little meat on his bones but not much) Today Silas fell off the couch and bumped his head, not bad but enough to make him cry. Now when a little one falls what do they want from an adult, usually any adult will do but Mommies are the best at? Anyone.... anyone???? A cuddle, someone to pick them up and kiss them and tell them they are going to be ok right??? Not Silas that made him more upset, I wanted to hug him and sing to him and that scared him right into a complete melt down. Oh it just broke me to have to back up and give him space while we was processing. Finally after about 10mins of a pretty sad tantrum I grabbed his leg (he was laying on the linoleum floor on his tummy) and I pulled him really fast to me then pushed him away, pulled him to me then pushed him away! The dried the tears real fast. I am going to gain this boys trust if it kills me and he will know I am his Momma and hugging is what I do!!!!! He will learn if there is nothing else to depend on he can ALWAY depend on me and Jesus!!!!!
My point is to try and help give encouragement for new adoptive Mom's out there it might be a long hard road but in my experience it is worth it Rorie and Cole are my proof and the reason we are back here doing this again!!!
We leave to head back home Tomorrow morning, our driver will be here at 3:30am to take us to the airport. Our plan leave Kiev headed to Frankfort at 6am and we have a 2.5hr layover (just enough time to feed breakfast) Then we head to Chicago where we should land around 2pm. Praise God my big brother will be there to meet us and we will get home just in time to greet the kids after school. Oh how my arms ache to hold them!!!!!
Keep us in prayer that our travel goes according to God's plan!!! Thank you and my next post will be from my home in America!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment