God is Good WHEN??????????????

ALL THE TIME......

I haven't updated in a while because for a long time there was NO update to share!!! It has been a long bumpy road and we are not there yet. We have had so many "faith testers" that I just didn't think I would be able to make it through but we are moving forward and I believe with my whole heart that God has a plan for all these delays! Infact last time we had delays it worked out so well because I was blessed to not only meet but live with and get to know and love a wonderful mommy and daddy that inspire me and encourage me... you know who you are!!!!! So I know whole heartedly that God has a purpose and a plan for us and I am resting in that! Also that for everyday I am not with my "littles" how sweet it will be when they are FOREVER in my arms!!!!! Not to say it was easy for me to embraces this time of being away from them I really struggled emotionally and even spiritually but God has taught me so much and for that I am thankful and willing to give this all up to Him! I guess I rather Him be in control than ME!!!!

Here is my God story:

Fred and I are fully funded; to say that we have all the funds we need to travel finish our adoption and get home, but it is tight and if there are more mistakes we will no longer be fully funded. This fact needs to be clear for you to see "the God thing"!...

Our dossier was rejected last Friday because of some wrong dates. (why is really not what is important what is important is that the documents were rejected yet again) During this adoption like I said I have been very emotional not sure exactly why but there you go... I had it in my head that I couldn't cry because crying and being upset meant that I didn't have faith in God that He would get us through this. I struggled almost daily with this just torturing me, how can I be so sad AND have faith in what God is going to do?????
At Women's bible study we are going through the emotions of Jesus (what emotions He had, how he dealt with them so on) Well last week we talked about the story when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. (If you are a believer you prolly have heard this story. I have heard this story a ton of times and it just goes to show why we call it the "Living Word". No matter how many times you read a biblical story you can always learn something new, God reveals so much to us... He is amazing that way) Anyway... We talked about how when Jesus came to the city he knew Lazarus was dead but He also knew the out come. He knew the end, He knew He was going to raise Lazarus, He knew Lazarus would live again He KNEW and the bible says what????? John 11:35 JESUS WEPT

John 11:32-36 (KJV)
32 Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
³³ When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled. (Jesus was troubled, He was sad, He KNEW what was coming, Lazarus was about to be raised but he felt that emotion of lose, of pain, of sorrow and what did He do? John 11:35)
³⁴ And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.
³⁵ Jesus wept.  He cried.... He cried and He KNEW what was coming and HE CRIED!!!!!!
³⁶ Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!

So if JESUS cried when HE KNEW the outcome does that sand the reason that its ok if I cry NOT knowing what the outcome is???? I think so!!!! WOW what a weight was lifted form my shoulders, I could cry and that was ok, it didn't mean I didn't trust Him it just meant I was sad and that is ok to be sad. If it is ok for my savior to cry when He was sad then it's ok if I cry!!!! Thank you God for that lesson and that FREEDOM!!!!!!! 

Today I woke up to an email that said we REALLY need to get these few documents done and back to Ukraine right away and yet again I felt like Gideon. "Lord I just need one more sign that this is what you want..." LOL we were waiting on Fred's employment letter, I handed the paperwork in to his HR department on Monday and during the week I got everything else done and ready for Madison but this employment letter was going to be the end of me I knew it!!!! I have no control over when it gets done, how it gets done and that was killing me for sure!!!! I was on Fred all week to check up on the letter and now I get this email and I feel even more pressure... GRRRRR!!!!! Of course right away I say Lord I can't do this anymore... You gotta take care of it!!!!  Lord I need a clear sign that this is what you want. (just call me Amanda "Gideon" Karol) LOL....... God is Good all the time!!!

Fred and I discussed the option of expediting our documents to make sure they get done and in because in Ukraine they only take dossiers on Thursdays and they need a heads up before you just bring that pup in... picky picky!!!! To expedite apostilles in WI it costs $35 PER document.. yeah we have 7 documents! (Remember how I said we were fully funded but if there were any redoes that needed to be redone we would no longer BE FULLY FUNDED... Well I would say that a $245 hit would make us fall just a bit shy not to mention the cost of gas to drive back n forth to Madison and the cost to re-mail the documents to Ukraine (at least $110 for 3-4day air mail) so here I am saying God I could use that sign now. This is what I think is so funny I ask and then think to myself... I don't know how your gonna pull this one off Lord!!!!

And you know what HE ALWAYS DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ready for the GOD thing......

I went to the mail box and got the mail out from yesterday which I NEVER do so I'm not sure what made me do that (well I kinda of an idea... lol) and in the mail was a letter from Fred's Grandparents just telling us how much they love Rorie and Cole and can't wait to meet our new little ones and that they "SUPPORT US"... if that is where it ended that would have been enough for me, to know people support us and are praying for us means so much I can't even put it into words. BUT that is not where it ended...

HERE IT COMES....

They had enclosed a check for just about the exact amount of money it will cost us to get our documents re apostilled and mailed to Ukraine!!!

Talk about a GOD thing!!!! Man OH Man GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!!

Is this story over NO NO NO...

After all this I got a call from Fred (who had to stay over at work this morning to cover 1st shift) He went to HR and his employment letter will be done today so if everything on the employment letter is correct I can get our documents out in the mail to Madison TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

What a relief... I cried so hard (and I can because my savior did!)