From The Beginning...

I thought it might be nice to share where the title to our blog came from it's kind of a long story but a very good one! As most of you know Fred and I have been trying for close to three years to conceive a child naturally and have been unsuccessful. It has been awful to watch people all around me have children and take those beautiful blessings from God for granted. It is equally as hard to continue to be unsuccessful and everyone around you tell you "Oh it's ok, it will happen for you I KNOW IT!" or "Did you try... (fill in the blank)" I know the comments are coming from a good place, people want to encourage but one day the pain of watching another person that didn't even want to have a baby get pregnant was too much. I fell on my face before God and prayed that if having children of my own was not something that He had in plan for my life right now that the desire would go away so that it didn't hurt anymore. I believe God is a God who answers prayer and who loves us so much he does not want to see us in pain or hurting! Now that being said this belief is only able to be a belief through TRUST! So I prayed this prayer and I had no idea how he was going to take this desire away, a desire that has been so strong for so long in my life and make it all ok! Like I said, it takes a whole lot of TRUST which is Faith! Fred and I have always talked about adoption we just thought it would be an option we looked into down the road. I know it sounds funny and a little ridiculous but I remembered an episode of "King of Queens" where Doug and Carry couldn't get pregnant and decided to adopt and when they did and the baby was coming home they found out that Carry was pregnant. For whatever reason the idea stayed on my mind. A few days later I was working with one of my participants and out of the blue he wanted to look at his baby pictures. Those pictures struck me and got me thinking, that evening I went home and started looking up adoption for children with disabilities (I'm not sure if at this point I was really thinking about adoption as a real possibility or if I was just trying to trick my body and maybe a little bit God too?)abut before I knew it I found Reece's Rainbow. The next few weeks I read everything I could find about adoption (which if you know me personally you would know that is huge because I HATE to READ anything that I don't NEED to read)but before I knew it God had answered my prayer. It is funny how He works and answers prayers, I would have never guessed this was how he was going to change my path. He didn't take my desire away but he changed the desire of my heart to fit the plan he has for my life and now I could not image my life without this this crazy, scary process in it! With every step forward we take the more I see what my FAITH can do! Praise God in ALL THINGS! A lesson I have learned well!!!